That Guy

Before I begin, I'd like to clarify that this blog was written a loooong time ago. Kept it private for fear of exposing myself and others more than I should but, whatever. It came to mind today and thus, I'm reposting. And that's that.


Those who have dated have all dated them and all been attracted to them but we're not sure where they come from. Til this day, I have no idea but here's my thoughts...

I'm currently befriending this guy. And yes, for now, he seems to be becoming "that guy". Pretends to have interest, maybe gives you the best dick ever but, contrary to what you really sought after, he's just not that into you...This all started with a fake online posting. That's one of the things I do when I'm bored, I post a bunch of shit online just to see who responds. I have a few laughs and nothing more usually comes of it. Til a couple months ago.

I was shopping on the www and digressed over into posting like 20 ads for a chick looking for love or something along those lines... Got many replies; some funny, some desperate. One hot. So what do I do? I drunkenly reply. According to me, this guy was hot. So we talked; e-mailed almost every minute of every day for a couple weeks until the day we met.

Fast forward to now. I'm pretending to have feelings for this guy who seems to have little to no interest in me. He's got a lot of factors that attract me to him but shit doesn't seem to be happening like they normally would. This has never happened to me before. I did things "for him" that he's unaware of; like spend $30 on his drink at his show that, with good reason, he kinda acted like I wasn't at. Or buying new Tangas twice this month when usually, I only do that once a month. He doesn't seem to care to find out whats going on with me (keep in mind, I'm female, this may be all in my head).

Here's the deal, I have known others in this situation... But, I'm hot. I mean, call it what you like but I'm really hot. Smart, fun, nice rack, good personality. I'm good with people/kids, I'm an amazing cook AND I clean (lol); everyone seems to like me. It's just, for some reason, this guy does not react to me like most men do. Might end up working in my favor cause I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. However, I think females tend to end up with "that guy" because of our actions and expectations. We want too much and expect even more. Fairy Tales aren't real and yet, we're steady trying to create one. It sounds harsh but, in my opinion, we shouldn't think of most guys out there much more than what most of them are; selfish people who still haven't figured out what they want or when they've stumbled across something great. They'll come around but for now, it's not really happening.

I've never been a "feminist" type of girl but on this matter, to every female out there: you're beautiful! You're something to fight for. All women deserve to feel they are important and beautiful and often times, they're told otherwise or not told anything at all. I don't believe that's fair and I know its not right.

Don't settle for less than you should and don't think you're not as great as you are. If you play your cards right (meaning you believe you're #1 and let others know that you're #1) you can do and get anything you want. "Trust, I know them 20s real well..." It's all a matter of finding the one that says, "hey, this chick really is as awesome as she seems". People always say "if you love yourself first, others will love you too". In my opinion, you should allow others to love you and you'll realize how much YOU love you.

As for me, I'm still in the state of, "we'll see how far this goes..." but we all know that's not going to last long. Trust is important to me and if months later I still don't really know you, I'm not going to trust you... I have someone that loves me and I should let them, but won't for my own personal reasons. I know what I want and eventually, when I start looking, I'll find it...

I apologize if this comes off as demeaning to the male gender. Take it as a kick in the ass, if you will :)

Hope this all made sense. One love, JMB.